The "18 Year Old" Myth

by A. Neumas

Some of our dear readers have had children turning 18 and we have received many letters with questions regarding our society and their mindset on this subject. We've touched on this a bit before, but with all the questions, I've been convicted to delve a bit deeper.

When our oldest son turned 18, there were people around us who were brain washing him into believing that he was now a separate entity in regards towards our family. I remember relating an incident that I had thought funny to a relative and their response was, "Well, there is nothing you can do about that. The boy is 18 now."

This son, along with the rest of our children, have always been home educated. Many of you who are also home educating know that the [Believer's] home schooling lifestyle tends to be very family focused and [Scripture] oriented. However, there is an "18 year-old" mentality that has infiltrated our society and also the church.This mentality believes that at 18:

      A child is no longer a child.
      This person now must make their own decisions, separate from the family.The parents no longer have a right to give any instruction or to expect obedience from this person.The 18 year old should become independent, which in the majority of homes means that they should move out of the house. Mostly, this means that they should either go to college or work full time on their own in order to live in an apartment with other young people their own age.Rebelliousness in the attitude of an 18 year old is looked upon by society as normal, and so ties the hands of parents from correction, because these children are now looked upon as adults.

We have had many letters with women begging for an answer to this problem. Many have found through experience that by allowing this thought to enter into a [Believer's] household, it has tainted the family and has brought rebellion and unrest to all the household.

Where did the 18 years of age thought come from?

It came with the draft, or the conscription, as it is also called. It was never induced in the United States until during the Civil War (1861-1865), then World War I (1914-1918), and World War II (1939-1945) and then Vietnam.

The Revolution of the United States against Great Britain was voluntary. There was no need to make men sign up for this war because the majority of our land wanted to be free from the rule of a King.

Later, when the government took control of who would go to war rather than the people, they made it a law that every male citizen who lives in the United States must register with his local board within 3O days before, to 30 days after, his 18th birthday. This board keeps jurisdiction over the registrant even if he moves out of the state. The registrant must notify the boad of any change in his address, In almost all cases, a man registering at the time of his 18th birthday receives an 1-H classification, indicating that he is not eligible for induction. The registrant participates in the annual lottery held in the year of his 19th birthday.

Over just a very short century, our society as a whole, has developed the attitude that at 18 years of age, a child is totally independent physically, spiritually, financially and educationally from his family. If they can die at war, they should be able to be independent in all areas of their lives.

The question should be to each of us who are claiming [Messiah] as King of our lives, "Is this mentality [Scriptural]?. How does it line up with the word of [Elohim]?"

The [Scriptures] tell us this:  "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh..." Matthew 19:5

"But from the beginning of the creation [Elohim] made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh; so then they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore [Elohim] hath joined together, let no man put asunder"' Mark 10:6-9

The [Scripture] tells us very clearly that the reason a child shall leave home is to marry. It is absolutely ridiculous that Americans are sending their children away at the age of 18!

What I find remarkable is the fact that our Master and Savior, [Yahshua] the Messiah, didn't start His ministry until He was in His 30's! Yet our own society believes that an 18 year-old is ready to start his???!!!

Did you know that we are the only country in the world to have this attitude? Most European nations are disgusted with the fact that we boot our children from our homes.

Recently, my husband and I received a video in the mail containing a wonderful news segment from, I believe, 60 Minutes, which was entitled "Mammosi".

It started with footage of strikingly handsome men in their late 20's through 40's driving fancy automobiles or motorbikes. They were successful busmenmen; Charming, normal Italian men. But what was so very astonishing to the American journalists, was that they lived in Italy, with their parents! This is what made the story interesting.

They interviewed these men and their parents. They all said that this was normal for Italian society; that a man simply stayed at home with his parents until he married. If he didn't, he would be lonely, he would seek out companionship, and maybe get into a lot of trouble. Being at home with a family who cared about them kept them wholesome and out of places where they shouldn't be.

My husband and I roared with laughter when they photographed some of the rooms these brilliant men stayed in. They had stayed exactly the same from the time since they were little. Some even slept in their youthful race car beds at the age of 35!

There is a very sobering reason for why many are reaching the age of 40 and are still unmarried. They asked each of them why and their answer was, "There are no women who are willing to be wives and mothers. All the women of today want to work and not care for a man or child. They want to be independent from a family rather than have a family."

When asked when they would finally have a home of their own, each said they already had homes. Some owned beautiful villas on the sea, mansions on lakes and more, but these beautiful buildings will all remain empty until they can find brides who are willing to be mothers and wives... And each man stated that they will each remain willingly at home with their parents until that time.

The segment then went to another part of Italy where the schools were closing down. They interviewed the people and the problem was again, that the young, Italian women of that community were not willing to be tied down with children or have a man to boss them around. They wanted freedom and independece from that life-style. Hence, the schools are being shut down as there are no children.

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Have we sealed within our children the truth of the Word of [Elohim] versus the myths of our generation? Even the world is seeing that leaving the home at the tender age of 18 only leads to folly. How much more should our children be guided by the [set apart] Scriptures so that they have an answer when people say, "You're 18! You're parents can't tell you what to do any morel You need to be out of the house living your own life."

Or are they going to believe "Honor thy father and thy mother" only until the age of 18?

Start now, dearest friends, instilling [Scriptural] values versus the world's. Our children will have peace and joy and contentment as the rest of the world extinguishes their childrens contribution to the family simply because they've reached the age of 18.

**This article was taken from the 7th month/8th month (Roman calendar), 2002 issue of Crowned With Silver magazine.  It was written by Mrs. Anna Neumas.  We have restored the names of Yahweh and Yahshua, and replaced other terms with pagan roots with scriptural terms as well  Such instances are indicated with brackets.

Crowned With Silver  is an excellent magazine.  A one year subscription can be ordered for $14 ($22 out of the U.S.) and an additional gift subscription can be ordered for $8 along with a 1-year subscription.  Their address is:  Crowned With Silver P. O. Box 403 Masonville, CO 85041-0403.  A sample issue, or back issues can be purchased for $3.50 each.

An interesting point that we would like to add to this article is in regards to Mrs. Neumas' paragraph that says, "Over just a very short century, our society as a whole, has developed the attitude that at 18 years of age, a child is totally independent physically, spiritually, financially, and educationally FROM HIS FAMILY (emphasis ours).  If they can die at war, they should be able to be independent in all areas of their lives."  The idea is that the young person is to be independent FROM HIS FAMILY only.  They're not independent from their employers, from their college instructors, from their land-lord , and ESPECIALLY they are not independent from the army, etc. if they choose to enlist there.  There is no reason for our young people to be taken out from beneath the loving protection of the wings of their family only to be subject to all of these other entities and worldly elements who care nothing for  their physical, spiritual, financial, or educational well-being.   "And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse."  (Malachi 4:6)   -Coover family at J.I.T.W."**



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